The Psychology of YouWITH DR. RAMI NADER

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF YOU

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With Dr. Rami Nader

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From the archive

Page 12 of 15 · 23 videos

March 31, 2022

Why Your "Safety Habits" Are Actually Keeping You Anxious

If you struggle with social anxiety, you may be using subtle behaviors to avoid embarrassment or judgment, without even realizing it. These are called safety behaviors, and while they’re meant to reduce anxiety in social settings, they often do the opposite. In this video, we explore what safety behaviors look like, why they reinforce anxiety over time, and how you can gradually start changing them to feel more confident and free in social situations. Whether it’s avoiding eye contact, rehearsing conversations in your head, speaking softly to avoid attention, or even relying on alcohol to get through social events, these behaviors can trick your brain into thinking you’re only okay because of them. Over time, this prevents real learning and reinforces the fear that social situations are dangerous. That cycle keeps anxiety alive. By identifying your unique safety behaviors and using targeted behavioral experiments, what we call “on day/off day” approaches, you can start testing whether these strategies are actually protecting you. Often, they’re not.…

Read a related guideAnxiety

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March 24, 2022

A Step-by-Step Guide to STOP Problems That Cause DEPRESSION

Depression often feels like a wall of unsolvable problems. Whether it’s relationship stress, work challenges, financial worries, or daily overwhelm, persistent issues can drain your energy and deepen hopelessness. This video explores how applying structured problem-solving techniques can help break the cycle of depression and build a sense of agency. We cover a six-step method grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy, guiding you through defining problems clearly, setting achievable goals, generating solutions, choosing the most effective path, implementing a plan, and checking whether it worked. You’ll also learn how emotional reasoning and vague thinking can sabotage progress, and how reframing a challenge can make it more manageable. These tools are not about fixing everything at once. They’re about making small, clear decisions that gradually shift momentum and lift mood. Many people struggling with depression feel stuck because their usual ways of tackling issues haven’t been effective.…

Read a related guideDepression

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March 17, 2022

Why You’re Always ANGRY (& What You Can Do About It)

Anger is often misunderstood as simply a bad or destructive emotion, but it actually plays an important role in how we respond to challenges, threats, and injustice. This video takes a closer look at what anger really is, why it happens, and when it becomes a problem. Whether it’s triggered by unfair treatment, day-to-day frustrations, or deeper emotional issues, anger can be both a helpful signal and a destructive force. When anger is frequent, intense, or lasts too long, it can damage relationships, interfere with work, and even worsen mental health. Understanding the psychology of anger helps uncover the real causes behind why we feel so reactive in certain situations. Is it unmet expectations? Is it stress, hunger, or another internal state pushing us to the edge? Or are we dealing with deeper issues like depression, anxiety, or trauma? By breaking down the external and internal triggers that contribute to anger, this video offers a deeper understanding of what really fuels those powerful emotional reactions.…

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March 10, 2022

DEREALIZATION: Why Everything Feels Unreal & What To Do About It

Derealization is a disorienting experience where the world feels unreal—like you’re stuck in a fog, watching life from behind a glass wall. This unsettling symptom often strikes during periods of extreme stress, panic, or trauma, leaving many to fear they’re “going crazy.” But derealization, while frightening, is not dangerous—and it is manageable. This video unpacks the symptoms and causes of derealization, why it happens, and how grounding techniques can help you reconnect to the present. From visual distortions and time shifts to the emotional distress it brings, derealization affects focus, memory, relationships, and daily functioning. But there are evidence-based tools to help. Techniques like labeling the experience, using grounding strategies, and working on the underlying causes—such as panic attacks, PTSD, or chronic stress—can significantly reduce episodes. Whether it’s focusing on the beat of a song, counting backward, or noticing the texture of your clothing, these small but powerful shifts can anchor you in reality.…

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March 3, 2022

Why You’re Probably WRONG About What People Think of You

Mind reading might sound like a superpower, but in psychology, it’s a common thinking trap that can worsen depression and anxiety. It happens when we assume we know what others are thinking, usually something negative about us, without any real evidence. This cognitive distortion can erode our self-confidence, increase social anxiety, and damage relationships. In this episode, we unpack how mind reading works, how it develops, and why it feels so convincing even when it’s completely wrong. Mind reading often comes from a need for certainty in social situations. But ironically, it creates more uncertainty by fueling assumptions and internal stories that aren't based on facts. You might think someone is annoyed with you, judging you, or dismissing your worth, but unless you check those assumptions directly, you’re just guessing. And if you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, your guesses tend to skew negatively. In this video, we explore how to recognize when you're engaging in mind reading and how to challenge those thoughts using cognitive behavioral strategies.…

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February 24, 2022

The DEPRESSION SPIRAL & How CBT Helps You Escape It

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is one of the most effective and evidence-based treatments for depression. In this video, we get into how CBT works to break the negative cycles that often fuel and maintain depression. Rather than focusing only on how you feel, CBT looks at the connections between behavior, thoughts, and emotions. You’ll learn how changing what you do and how you think can gradually lift your mood and restore a sense of control. If you’ve been struggling with low motivation, negative thinking, or hopelessness, this breakdown of the CBT model will help you understand why these patterns persist and what you can do to change them. We look at how everyday choices, even small ones like getting out of bed or going for a short walk, can disrupt the depression cycle. We also explore how distorted thinking contributes to the downward spiral and how CBT gives you tools to challenge those patterns.

Read a related guideDepression

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February 17, 2022

Are You Making SOCIAL ANXIETY Worse Without Realizing It?

If you struggle with social anxiety, you might be doing things that feel helpful in the moment but are quietly making your anxiety worse over time. These behaviors, known as safety behaviors, are subtle strategies people use to try to feel more comfortable in social situations. This might include avoiding eye contact, rehearsing everything you’ll say, or trying to appear agreeable to everyone around you. Although these actions are meant to reduce anxiety, they actually keep it going. In this video, we explore what safety behaviors are, why people with social anxiety tend to rely on them, and how they backfire by increasing self-focus, reinforcing fear, and preventing meaningful learning. We also explain the vicious cycle these behaviors create and how they block progress in forming genuine social connections. You’ll gain a clear understanding of the behavioral patterns that keep you stuck—and how changing them can be a powerful step toward recovery.

Read a related guideSocial anxiety Anxiety

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February 10, 2022

Why Do People Become Suicidal?

Suicide is a difficult topic to talk about, but it is important to understand how someone can get to a point where they feel they have no other options but suicide. There is a lot of misunderstanding about suicide, in that some people view it as a choice, the person being selfish or that suicidal ideation is just attention seeking behaviour. It is important to understand how a person can get to a point where they feel that ending their life is a tangible option and this video presents a model to explain suicide. Suicide becomes a legitimate option for a person when they view their situation and suffering as intolerable, inescapable and interminable. The person views their pain and suffering as excruciating, that they cannot escape from it and that it is never going to end. With this understanding, it becomes easier to understand how a person can view that they have no other choices but to end their life. However, the key becomes to just change one of these factors and, if that can happen, suicide becomes less of a tangible option.

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February 3, 2022

Why You Keep IGNORING the Good Things in Your Life

Do you ever brush off a compliment or chalk up your success to luck? If so, you might be engaging in a common thinking trap known as disqualifying the positive. This distorted thinking pattern often shows up in depression and anxiety, making it harder to feel good about your accomplishments or to see yourself in a fair and balanced way. In this video, we break down what disqualifying the positive looks like, why it's so convincing, and how it silently reinforces low mood and hopelessness. When you’re caught in this pattern, even objectively good things, like praise from others, personal achievements, or signs of progress, can be dismissed or downplayed. You might say things like, “That doesn’t count,” or “They’re just being nice,” or “Anyone could’ve done that.” Over time, these dismissals reinforce a negative self-image and block the emotional benefits of positive experiences. We explore how this thinking style differs from filtering and explain why it can be so frustrating for both the person experiencing it and those trying to support them.…

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January 27, 2022

Exposure Therapy HACKS to Help Overcome Your Anxiety

Exposure therapy is often praised as one of the most effective treatments for anxiety disorders, but what happens when it doesn’t seem to be working? Many people face persistent anxiety despite repeated exposure efforts. This happens not because exposure therapy is ineffective, but because it’s often done in ways that don’t meet key therapeutic criteria. In this video, we explore why exposure therapy sometimes fails and what changes can make it work. You'll learn how typical daily exposures differ from therapeutic exposures in terms of predictability, duration, frequency, mindset, and avoidance behaviors. By highlighting the importance of controlled, repeated, and prolonged exposure, we explain why simply facing your fears isn’t enough if you’re still using subtle safety behaviors, escaping too soon, or defining success based on anxiety reduction instead of behavior. If you're struggling with generalized anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, social anxiety, or phobias, understanding how to do exposure correctly can make all the difference.…

Read a related guideExposure therapy Anxiety

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January 20, 2022

The Most EFFECTIVE Way to STOP Anxiety: Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy is widely recognized as the most effective psychological treatment for anxiety. From phobias and social anxiety to panic disorder and PTSD, this method targets the root of the problem: avoidance. In this video, we explore how exposure therapy works, why it’s such a powerful approach for anxiety reduction, and the mistakes that often hold people back from making progress. Anxiety thrives on avoidance. The more we steer clear of what we fear, the more those fears grow. Exposure therapy breaks this cycle by helping you face what scares you, one step at a time. But it's not just about pushing through, successful exposure involves creating a hierarchy of feared situations and working through them gradually, intentionally, and repeatedly. We also cover why some forms of exposure don’t work, like flooding or accidental everyday exposures that reinforce fear rather than reduce it.…

Read a related guideExposure therapy Anxiety

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January 13, 2022

STOP Setting Goals That DON'T Work

Feeling stuck on your goals? You’re not alone. Most people set goals with the best of intentions but end up discouraged when progress stalls. This happens because the way we typically set goals is flawed. In this breakdown, we talk about why vague resolutions fail and how you can reframe your thinking to finally start achieving what you set out to do. We explore cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies that focus on behavior-based goals, breaking them into clear, measurable, and realistic steps. Whether you’re trying to build new habits, improve performance, or create lasting change, this approach will show you how to make goals stick. You’ll learn how to define goals based on what you do, not how you feel, so progress becomes predictable and sustainable. If you’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution that fizzled out, this will explain why that happened and what to do differently. You’ll understand the importance of realistic expectations, controlling what you can, and detaching from outcomes that aren’t fully within your control.…

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January 6, 2022

Why You Only See the Negative (& How to Fix It)

Many people struggling with depression don’t realize they’re engaging in a subtle but powerful thinking habit that can fuel low mood and reinforce feelings of hopelessness. This habit is called filtering. Filtering is a cognitive distortion where you focus exclusively on the negatives in your life while ignoring or dismissing the positive and neutral. It’s a common experience in depression and anxiety, and most people don’t even notice they’re doing it. You might think only about your mistakes at work while completely overlooking the praise you've received. You may dwell on an argument with your partner while forgetting the support they’ve shown you. Over time, this habit creates a biased and overly negative view of your life and that distorted lens makes it even harder to feel hopeful or confident. In this video, we talk about how filtering works, how it develops, and most importantly, how to break out of this mental habit.…

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December 30, 2021

Psychology Medical-Legal and Independent Medical Examination (IME) Assessments | Dr. Rami Nader

This video is a presentation explaining some of the characteristics of psychological medical legal assessments and independent medical examination (IME) assessments. The presentation discusses some of the most common questions that psychologists can answer in a medical legal and IME assessment, including issues related to diagnosis, causality, extent and duration of disability, prognosis and treatment recommendations. The video also discusses the various components of a psychological medical legal or IME assessment, including issues related to informed consent and confidentiality, literature reviews, file reviews, the psychological assessment interview, administration of psychometric testing, collateral information and additional sources of information including surveillance videos and review of social media accounts. Finally, the video discusses some of the most common “red flags” to look out for in a psychology medical legal report or independent medical examination to help determine the quality of the assessment and report.

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December 23, 2021

Struggling to Make Friends While DEPRESSED? Try This

Making friends while struggling with depression can feel impossible. When your energy is low, motivation is lacking, and social anxiety is high, forming new relationships often feels like climbing a mountain with no summit in sight. In this video, we explore a practical and evidence-based approach to building new friendships that works even when you're feeling down. Whether you're dealing with social withdrawal, low self-esteem, or fear of rejection, this tool can help you reconnect with the world in a manageable and meaningful way. One of the key techniques discussed is based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): using your interests as a bridge to form new social connections. Instead of focusing on “finding a friend,” the strategy centers on engaging in meaningful activities you enjoy, which naturally brings you into contact with people who share your values and passions.…

Read a related guideDepression

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December 16, 2021

The 8 Most Common Subtypes of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood as just a quirk about neatness or handwashing. In reality, OCD is a complex and deeply distressing mental health condition that shows up in many forms. This exploration covers 8 common OCD subtypes: contamination OCD, harm OCD, pedophilia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, relationship OCD, religious OCD (scrupulosity), just-right OCD, and pure obsessional OCD (Pure-O). While the content may be difficult, it's crucial to understand that these intrusive thoughts are not desires—they’re anxiety-driven and highly upsetting to the individual. Each subtype of OCD includes unique patterns of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that can interfere significantly with daily life. Many people with OCD suffer in silence due to stigma or confusion about what their thoughts mean. But knowledge can be freeing. Understanding how these subtypes operate—whether it’s the fear of harming someone, questioning your relationship, or experiencing taboo thoughts—is the first step toward effective management and recovery.…

Read a related guideOCD

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December 9, 2021

How to Stop Feeling OVERWHELMED

Feeling overwhelmed can make even simple tasks feel impossible. When your mind is flooded with to-do lists, looming deadlines, or emotional stress, it’s natural to shut down. But what if that sense of overwhelm could actually help you manage anxiety and depression? In this video, we explore how to recognize the signs of overwhelm and use them as a cue to reset, refocus, and move forward. Instead of viewing overwhelm as a failure, you’ll learn how it’s often a sign that your expectations exceed your capacity. You’ll discover why trying to do everything at once leads to avoidance, increased anxiety, and depressive thoughts, and how breaking things into small, specific steps can restore a sense of control. We look at how to set realistic goals, reframe your thinking, and build momentum through action, even when you’re feeling emotionally depleted. This approach draws on core principles from cognitive behavioral therapy to show you how to navigate stress, avoid burnout, and recover a sense of agency.…

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December 2, 2021

All or Nothing THINKING: Why You Always Feel Like a FAILURE

All or nothing thinking, also known as black and white thinking, is a common cognitive distortion that can quietly fuel depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and constant feelings of failure. If you've ever thought “I blew it” after a minor mistake or felt like anything less than perfect means you’re worthless, you’ve likely been caught in this unhelpful mental trap. In this video, we explore what all or nothing thinking looks like in everyday life, why it's so damaging to mental health, and how it can impact your self-perception, your relationships, and your motivation. We walk through how this distortion shows up in job interviews, diets, relationships, and even politics. You’ll learn how this kind of thinking reinforces hopelessness and perfectionism, and how small cognitive shifts can help you find more balanced, realistic perspectives. One practical strategy includes replacing the word "or" with "and" to allow room for complexity. Another involves actively searching for shades of gray rather than assuming the worst.…

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November 25, 2021

What Borderline Personality Disorder REALLY Looks Like

Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions, often portrayed inaccurately in the media. But the reality of living with BPD is far more complex than what’s usually depicted in film or TV. In this video, we unpack what BPD actually looks like by walking through the nine hallmark symptoms of borderline personality disorder. This includes emotional dysregulation, unstable relationships, identity disturbance, impulsivity, chronic feelings of emptiness, intense anger, suicidal behaviors, dissociation, and the pervasive fear of abandonment that fuels it all. Whether you or someone you care about is struggling with BPD, understanding the lived experience behind the diagnosis can foster compassion and guide you toward appropriate treatment options. We also look at the diagnostic criteria for BPD, including what it takes to receive a formal diagnosis and why not everyone with one or two traits meets the full clinical definition.…

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November 18, 2021

Felt ABANDONED During Depression? Here’s What Might REALLY Be Going On

Feeling disconnected from people you care about is one of the most painful parts of depression. You might have drifted from close friends or even pushed others away, leaving you isolated and unsure of how to reconnect. This video explores how to rebuild relationships that were impacted by depression, with a focus on empathy, self-awareness, and realistic expectations. Many people struggling with depression assume others lost interest in them or abandoned them, but the truth is often more complicated. When energy and motivation are low, it’s easy to misinterpret missed calls or canceled plans as rejection. But reaching out, despite the fear and uncertainty, can be a powerful step toward healing. This video outlines practical ways to reconnect with people from your past, how to handle awkwardness or old disagreements, and what to expect emotionally when you make the first move. We explore why former friendships may offer a strong foundation for reconnection, and how shared history can be a bridge toward intimacy and support.…

Read a related guideDepression

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November 11, 2021

What’s Really Causing Your SOCIAL ANXIETY: A CBT Model

Social anxiety can feel paralyzing, especially when simple interactions like saying hello or attending a party spark overwhelming fear or self-judgment. But what if much of that fear is being driven by unconscious patterns? In this video, we discuss the cognitive behavioral model of social anxiety and why it keeps looping, no matter how much you prepare or try to calm yourself down. From early experiences of bullying or rejection to biologically wired sensitivity, many people develop negative core beliefs like “I’m awkward” or “People are judging me.” These beliefs then trigger anticipatory anxiety, self-consciousness, and safety behaviors, subtle actions like avoiding eye contact or trying too hard to talk or blend in. Ironically, these behaviors often send confusing signals to others and reinforce the very rejection or discomfort you're trying to avoid. This video helps clarify the psychological cycle of social anxiety, focusing on how distorted thinking, negative beliefs, and maladaptive behaviors all work together to maintain anxiety in social situations.…

Read a related guideSocial anxiety Anxiety

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November 4, 2021

Are You WIRED or Social Anxiety? 2 Causes of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is one of the most common forms of anxiety, but what causes social anxiety in the first place? In this video, we explore where social anxiety comes from and the two key factors that often set the stage for developing social anxiety disorder. The first involves innate sensitivity—how some people are biologically wired with a more reactive nervous system. These individuals may experience stronger physiological responses, like elevated heart rate or muscle tension, when faced with new people or social situations. This heightened reactivity increases the likelihood of social inhibition and avoidance. The second contributor to social anxiety lies in early social experiences. From childhood bullying to overprotective or critical parenting, these interactions can teach someone to expect judgment, rejection, or embarrassment in social environments. Over time, these experiences may shape deep-seated negative beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “people will find me boring,” which are central to social fear.…

Read a related guideSocial anxiety Anxiety

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October 28, 2021

Don’t Fall Into These TRAPS While Recovering from Depression

Recovering from depression is rarely a straight line. If you’ve ever felt like you were finally making progress only to suddenly feel worse again, you’re not alone. Depression recovery often involves ups and downs that can feel confusing and frustrating. In this video, we explore four common psychological traps that people fall into when they’re trying to get better. These traps can make symptoms feel worse or even lead to a relapse if they’re not recognized early. Two of the traps happen during mood drops: catastrophizing normal fluctuations and overanalyzing what caused the dip. Both can lead to rumination, helplessness, and avoidance. The other two traps come when your mood starts to improve, specifically, the urge to “test” your recovery by thinking negative thoughts, and getting overambitious with goals too soon. These are easy to fall into and often disguised as helpful self-checks or enthusiasm. But they often backfire. By learning to recognize these patterns early, you can reduce the chances that a temporary mood shift turns into a setback.…

Read a related guideDepression

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